4 Ways To Not Bore Her To Tears With Your Texts

So before I get started, let me say that it’s ridiculously difficult to keep a woman’s interest with words alone. 93% of your communication comes from your body language, eye contact, and vocal tonality. This means that only 7% of the feeling a woman gets from you in person comes from the specific words you say.

 

Essentially, your words are just the vehicle through which your personality expresses itself. They’re nowhere near as important as you might think. It’s all about your energy.

 

But

 

When you’re messaging through an app, all you have are your words because she isn’t right there in front of you to feel said energy. This means your words are now really freaking important because you need to use them to their fullest to plant engaging images into her mind. So on that note, let me introduce tip number 1 which is.

 

 

1. Use the right words

 

Even words that officially have the same meanings, don’t conjure the same mental images when you hear or read them. For instance, let’s say I’ve got a sword, and let’s say it’s big. How exactly should I say that?

 

Is it a big sword?

A huge sword?

A massive sword?

A gargantuan sword?

 

Or is it even a sword?

 

Is it a huge blade? 

A large blade?

An epic blade?

 

See where I’m coming from?

 

Imagine someone told you a story about a soldier who had a big sword in his hand, what would you picture?

 

Now let’s say that same person told you another story about a warrior who wielded an epic blade. What would you picture now? 

 

I’d imagine you’re seeing two different things in your minds’ eye but they essentially both mean the same thing don’t they?

 

Or let’s use another example. Is a woman:

 

• Cute
• Stunning
• Gorgeous
• Sexy
• Hot
• Attractive
• Pretty
• Sensual?

 

For the most part all of the above mean the same thing but they conjure different images in the mind. Here’s another example, does she have beautiful breasts, or does she have amazing tits? Use your words carefully.

 

Brazilian funk dancing essentially looks just like twerking with loads of booty shaking but that’s not how the local girls see it at all. Ask them if they can dance funk and they’ll happily say they can. Ask them if they can twerk, and they’ll get angry at you for sexualising Brazilian women. Even though the two things are basically the same.

 

2. Roleplay with Her

 

So here’s a text exchange I saw in one of my Telegram groups.

 

GIRL: So excited!!!

Do you think you can plz pick me up again?

 

GUY: If you dress up cute.

 

GIRL: Who me? Never ??

 

GUY: You’ll be sent to the principal’s office I.e. me:

 

GIRL: ???

I’ll behave I promise

 

So what happened here? What happened is that the guy threw logic out the window by pretending he’s a stern authority figure who’ll discipline the girl if she gets out of line, and she loved it.

 

Any time you can make your interaction fun by creating a fictional narrative is likely to go down well with a woman. Maybe you guys are bank robbers who are gonna go on an international crime spree like a 2022 Bonnie and Clyde? Maybe you’re Aladdin and she’s your very own Princess Jasmine but she has to prove herself worthy of riding your magic carpet.

 

Maybe your puppy Leo approves all your dates and needs to give her the thumbs up before you’ll know she’s worth dating. Maybe that means she needs to meet him and win him over first before she has a chance of winning your heart?

 

Have fun with it. There’s a song that says girls just wanna have fun and it’s one of the truest things ever spoken.

 

Logic is the enemy of female attraction.

 

3. Imply Sexuality Without Being Explicit

 

We all know you need to establish yourself as a sexual being in order to not be placed in the friend zone, but we also know that if you go too hard sexually you’ll scare the woman off. So how exactly do you strike the right balance? A great way of is by implying sexuality without explicitly diving into it, and I’ll give you an example to explain what I mean. Remember this chat thread from earlier?

 

GIRL: So excited!!!

Do you think you can plz pick me up again?

 

GUY: If you dress up cute.

 

GIRL: Who me? Never ??

 

GUY: You’ll be sent to the principal’s office I.e. me:

 

GIRL: ???

I’ll behave I promise

 

GUY: See that you do or you’ll have to be disciplined.

 

Now look at the guy’s final two lines: 

 

“You’ll be sent to the principal’s office I.e. me.” 

 

And the one I just added: 

 

“See that you do or you’ll have to be disciplined.”

 

What’s being implied here? The implication is clearly that the girl is going to be punished in a sexual way. The implication is that she’s going to be bent over his knee and spanked for being a bad little girl, but it’s not openly stated.

 

It’s subtly implied.

 

If he said it openly she’d almost certainly have been weirded out and ghosted him. But, because it was subtly implied, her mind filled in the blanks and got a nice little thrill without needing to feel the shame of being slutty or uncomfortable with being directly confronted with blunt male sexuality.

 

When bringing up sexuality through text with women you don’t know well, do it subtly and indirectly. Also, don’t feel the need to linger on sexual topics either. A man who isn’t just comfortable bringing up sex but also completely comfortable with dropping it is very attractive.

 

4. Be Funnier/ Wittier

 

OK so every man and his dog knows women like humour, but I don’t see a lot of people talking about how to be more funny so I’ll cover that here.

 

Basically it goes like this, humour is created when a statement is made which is completely unexpected, but in retrospect makes perfect sense. For instance, let’s take this joke here.

 

How does the ocean say hi? It waves!

 

Or this one.

 

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

 

Now forget for a moment about whether or not you found these funny because that’s not the point. The point is that you definitely recognise them as being jokes, so why is that?

 

Because they have setups which lead to unexpected punchlines which make sense in retrospect. Teddy bears are ‘stuffed’ with padding, but being ‘stuffed’ also means you’re full and can’t eat another bite. So yeah, of course a teddy bear would say no to desert because she’s stuffed.

 

Oceans have waves, but of course a wave is also something people do to get each other’s attention. So yeah, it makes sense that the ocean would wave to say hello.

 

Any joke you’ve ever heard no matter how funny or unfunny involves a setup which leads you in one direction before hitting you with an unseen element of surprise which makes sense after the fact. So with that in mind, try to see the potential for humour in your interactions with women and practice being funnier.

 

Of course you don’t have to tell scripted jokes with official setups, it can be purely off the cuff and observational comments too. For instance, a while back I matched a woman who was an aerial trapeze athlete and had a profile pic of her hanging upside down from her rings. However, her bio also said she’d turn my perspective upside down.

 

So I then said “Are you going to turn my perspective upside down with your awesomeness or by making me use your aerial rings?”

 

Not only did she find that hilarious, but I guarantee noone had said that to her before

 

So yeah, try to see the potential for humour in your interactions.

 

Click this link to book a free consulation call with me >>

 

We’ll use this call to discuss your current situation with dating and see if you’re a good fit for one-on-one coaching.  

 

Speak soon,

 

Ciaran