This guide includes three examples of what to do when there’s a gap in the conversation.
Hey hey, it’s Ciaran.
There will always be moments when the topic of a conversation dies out, and there’s this moment of silence.
When they’re nervous, many guys will rush to fill this silence as quickly as possible, normally with some boring ‘getting to know you’ question.
The fear of an awkward silence makes them to resort to ‘interview mode’.
This is bad if you’re trying to attract a woman, especially within the opening moments of meeting her. At this point, she doesn’t know who you are or whether you’re cool enough to keep speaking to.
Imagine if some strange man kept asking random interview questions to you?! Probably you’d be creeped out, or at least bored. After all, you’ve probably answered these ‘getting to know you’ questions hundreds of times before.
Well, that’s how you’re making the girl feel when you resort to interview mode!
Even if you go on to exchange contact details, you most likely haven’t done enough to differentiate yourself from all the other dudes trying to text her.
In this guide, I’ll present three better ideas for what to do when there’s a gap in the conversation.
1. Turn the question into an assumption
Instead of asking: “what do you like to do for fun?”
Ask: “I bet you like to do…”
This is the quickest easiest hack to make a conversation more engaging. The other person will nearly always ask what led you to that assumption.
(In the video above, Joe assumes that the woman is an awesome karaoke singer)
2. Screen
If you do ask a question, frame it so you’re screening her. You can screen to see whether she’s a cool person, or whether she’d enjoy a specific type of date.
This communicates that you’re not won over yet, and creates the space for her to chase you.
3. Make a statement about yourself
It could be an opinion about your surroundings, something that happened to you that day or just a random fact about yourself.
This might seem counter-intuitive.
Indeed, many cultures teach us it’s rude to talk about ourselves.
But the fact is: doing so gives her the opportunity to learn more about you. It allows you to stand out as being different, a lot more than asking ‘interview mode’ questions will anyway…
You’ll often find that if she’s into you, she’ll be keen to ask you more questions or offer her opinion on whatever you said. Now, she’s chasing your rapport instead of the other way around.
(Joe begins the video by ranting about how he loves to play the drums).
4. Leave the silence for a short while
There’s something powerful about being comfortable enough to sit in a short silence, especially if you can keep eye contact and smile.
Often, she’ll melt in a fit of giggles during these moments.
Other times, this silence allows her to invest by asking you a question.
(You’ll notice it happens in this video, when the Polish woman asks Joe about his favourite music).
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