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Hey, it’s Ciaran.
Step 1. Open
I noticed this girl looking at me and waved her over.
If she wasn’t, I’d have said “Hey, I know this is a bit random but…”
That statement is a good opener because it lets the girls know you’re not a socially uncalibrated fool, who doesn’t understand that approaching her is outside the norm. You’re cool and understand social dynamics and so is she. However, you need to tell her something.
The main thing to focus on is having a confident and genuine vibe, without being arrogant.
Step 2. Assumptions
This is where you essentially psycho-analyse her and try to work out what kind of person she is.
It’s great because: it implies you have a deeper interest in her than just her looks. It makes her feel seen and understood. It’s intriguing. She’ll like want to know what made you say these things.
Step 3. Provide Value
You now want to hook her into the conversation, which you’ll do by demonstrating high value and having an emotionally charged interaction.
Casually refer to things which will raise your value in her eyes. But, do it in organic way so it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging.
As for the conversation itself, she should be feeling strong emotions throughout. That is your goal; not to have a pleasant interaction, but to impact her day. Keep her laughing, make her curious, aroused, excited and more. Keep the vibe fun. Do not fall into a logical conversation. Logic is the enemy of female attraction.
4. Vibing
As you get to know each other, be in the moment and go with the flow. Keep things interesting.
My comment about her staring into my eyes wasn’t just true, it was pleasantly shocking for her because of how unrelated to the conversation it was. Things like that cause laughter, fun and an unpredictable dynamic, which is attractive.
Women don’t often meet writers, especially young black male writers. When I told her that, it made me unique and novel and piqued her curiosity. That’s why she asked me to tell her about it. The discussion about my book is an entire DHV spike.
5. Close
Although I didn’t catch the close on microphone, we agreed to stay in touch via Instagram.
You can see plenty more examples of successful Instagram-closes in the rest of our daygame chapter.
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