Some of you may know this about me, but most of you don’t – so here goes.
I was majorly addicted to video games. StreetFighter, Tekken, Quake, Mario & shitloads more.
I would play 14 hours a day, eat my food cold, procrastinate on literally everything, isolate myself from everyone, and spend another 3 hours jerking it to porn until my dick hurt.
I won’t get too deep into why, but I basically hated everything about myself and those things were my escape from the guy in the mirror. This self hatred made my addictions go to an extreme level that could have destroyed me for life.
Unsurprisingly, I struggled with social anxiety. Crippling fear was the major theme of my life and I despised every second that I was alive. I didn’t just not know how to get girls, I didn’t know how to socialise in general. I always wanted friends, I wanted girlfriends, I wanted people to think I was cool, but I wasn’t and I was so alone.
All I wanted was for people to give enough of a shit about me that they wouldn’t only invite me to parties but they’d also be disappointed if I didn’t go, but that never happened.
I wanted to get texts from girls saying they had a great time with me and hoped to see me soon, but that never happened.
I didn’t want to be a virgin. I wanted girls in my bed but they never were.
I cried all the time, drowned myself in alcohol and drugs and was basically a huge mess.
Ciaran back then was weak. He lacked will-power. Discipline. Vision. Strength. Self love. And Guidance.
But he knew he had to do something…and slowly but surely…he pulled himself out of that shithole he put himself in.
And for that, I am forever loving and grateful. It makes me proud to see how far I’ve come!
Truth is, now that I look back, I’m also grateful for every single last fucking obstacle that ever came my way because they were the catalyst for my growth.
I’m grateful for everything in myself that I considered a weakness. Everything that held me back because they gave me the drive to become stronger than I ever thought possible.
I would’ve never in a million years gotten to where I am today if it hadn’t been for the rough periods I’ve been through.
If I could go back in time? I wouldn’t change a thing. NOT a single thing.
What I would do is sit down with Young Ciaran, put my arm around his shoulder and have a chat with him.
But before I get into what I would tell him, here’s what going through this allowed me to do:
- Overcome my video-game and porn addiction and also my social anxiety. Go from being shy and weird to feeling confident in my own skin and regularly attracting women who wouldn’t have looked twice at me before. It’s helped me actually live the sorts of wild sexual experiences that I used to jerk to through my laptop.
- Leave my 9-5 and live life on my own terms. I travel the world and literally live my passions full-time. I meet, connect with, and sleep with women of all races and cultures, work my own hours, live a life that fulfils me, and basically just do what the fuck I want. I’ve proved to my doubters, especially my father that I made the right decision. And I am continuing to do that every day.
- Make a true impact in the world. Help my own clients grow as human beings and build the sexual lives that they want instead of those they have to settle for. I have to admit – I was scared af way back when I signed up my first few clients – but they all crushed it! It’s fucking awesome to see guys go from lives of sexual poverty to sexual abundance. The simple fact is that one day human beings will be alive who wouldn’t have existed if I didn’t give their dad’s the ability to attract their mothers. That’s not a small thing at all.
- Invest almost $10,000 into people I admired and wanted to learn from. Everything I achieved so far is thanks to them. And having the opportunity and financial capacity to work with them is truly amazing.
- And most importantly; wake up every single day feeling deeply fulfilled. Knowing that I didn’t give up, I didn’t submit, and that I believed in myself and took the necessary risks. Knowing that I have been doing everything in my capacity to reach my goals – and that there is so much more to come.
This last one made me tear up.
That’s a bit of how everything was, and how it is going so far.
So now here’s what I would tell him:
- Bro, everything will be okay. I know you like to control things but feel like you have zero control whatsoever. I know your mind is going 100Mph. I know you think the world is in on a joke that you don’t get. I know you think people hate you because you’re black. But everything will be okay. You will make it. Take a breath. Relax. You’ll get where you want to be in time.
You’ll meet hot girls who care about you. You’ll make amazing friends who love you, and you’ll make a huge impact on the lives of men who are in the same situation you’re in right now. You’ll feel worthy. I promise.
- Ciaran, you’re way more capable than you realise. Believe in yourself. Have faith. Challenge yourself. You can do so much more. You’re gifted, and I mean it.
Push yourself and get rid of any attachment to the outcome. Do it for the sake of mastery. Do it for the sake of life. Just live and be willing to make mistakes. Do your thing, live your life, take chances, and believe in yourself, Ciaran.
- Drop the masks and the bullshit ego because it’s holding you back. There will be many times where you’ll need help. Hell, you even need it now but you’re allowing your arrogance and ego to hold you back. Don’t be too scared to ask for help. Seek mentors. Adopt the beginner’s mindset.
Thinking you can do it all on your own is foolish. Learn from other people’s mistakes.
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