Dating Coach Panel: Asian Special
Ice White assembled a panel of Asian dating coaches for the Dating Coach Panel, forming the Asian Special, featuring JT Tran, Mike PickupAlpha, Danny Kim, Aisen Li, Justin Li and Deepak Dating.
Dating Coach Panel
For the seventh episode of Game Global’s Dating Coach Panel, we got 6 Asian dating coaches. On this panel:
- Ice White (Game Global)
- JT Tran (ABCs Of Attraction)
- Mike Ke (Mike PickupAlpha)
- Danny Kim
- Aisen Li
- Justin Marc
- Deepak Dating
Asian Dating Problems
Justin Marc said that a lot of Asians have the misconception and limiting belief that a lot of Caucasian girls won’t like them, without realizing that even Caucasian guys and African guys and literally guys from all backgrounds have their set of struggles with dating. Your dating issues are not unique to you ust because you’re Indian or Chinese.
JT Tran (ABCs Of Attraction) observed that Asian students who come to study in the West don’t carry limiting beliefs, they just have to learn Western dating culture. But those who were born in the West and grew up in the West; Asian-Americans, were raised to believe they aren’t as good as Caucasians or Africans.
Danny Kim says that he helps Asian guys become more physically attractive, as with online dating and social media (Message game) it is more important than ever to look more attractive.
Mike Ke (Mike PickupAlpha) says that Asian parents raise their kids to be focused on their careers, so a lot of Asian guys miss out on dating opportunities because they never really got the chance to work on their social skills.
Deepak Dating says that East Asians have done well as a society to get over the stereotypes thrown at them, but South Asians have more work to do to tackle stereotypes when you look at the bigger picture. So instead of letting stereotypes get in the way, guys should be able to raise their self-esteem and believe in themselves.
Aisen Li saw on an interview that Indian people from India were asked if they like their accents, and the people from India said they loved their own accents. But the same wasn’t true for Indian people who were raised in the United States. Many Asians have been taught not to stand out and not to be the center of attention, as in Asian culture, ‘the nail that sticks out gets hammered in’ to fit with the others.
Advice For Asian Virgins
A 31 year old virgin asked the Dating Coach Panel how he could start dating women without coming across as desperate or needy.
Aisen Li said that there should be no shame in being honest that you are a virgin, as your hesitation and shame can prevent you from moving forward.
Deepak Dating explained that you don’t have to tell women that you’re a virgin, as it doesn’t really matter.
Mike PickupAlpha emphasized that if you are 10 years behind, you need to be making big moves and big changes, rather than small changes that don’t really move the needle. Steps like removing yourself from toxic environments and moving closer to downtown within a city are big steps that can advance your life and inspire a lot of change. Stop dabbling and go all in. You should be able to handle big changes in 6 months and move on with your life.
Justin Marc added that a man in his 30s who is a virgin should start with small wins, like going to the gym, changing your fashion and putting yourself right in front of the opportunities.
Danny Kim made the point that identity is a huge part in how to deal with this. By identifying yourself as a 31 year old virgin as your main identity, you are lacking other identites. Pick a different identity than a virgin; be the guy who has a job, be the guy who goes to the gym, be the guy who has an attractive hobby.
JT Tran said that you will have to put in the work and stop being a perfectionist avoiding the prospect of rejection. There is no perfect strategy or tactic, and you should embrace ‘cringe mountain’.
Advice For Short Asian Guys
JT Tran is a 5’5″ Asian dating coach and advises that you should have a commanding presence, being more dominant than you typically are in order to counteract perceptions or stereotypes. Bring a strong personality and presence so that you can overcome any kind of unconscious bias that a woman might have. Your personality and charm can make up for everything else.
Justin Marc is 5’4″ and says that he doesn’t think height matters, but rather how you make women feel. If you have lots of things going for you, then your height is almost completely irrelevant. You will not be disqualified for being short if you have other high value characteristics and traits that women find attractive. It’s not your height that’s the problem, it’s your lack of charisma.
Deepak Dating says that whatever disadvantage you have shoud be turned around and used as an advantage instead. So instead of seeing your height as a negative, see it as a positive.
Aisen Li has asked short guys what they would do differently if they were their ideal height, and the short guys would say they would workout more, approach the girl they’re interested in at the gym, dress better and get a better job. But then Aisen would ask why they aren’t doing these things right now. So guys tend to act like they have a handicap, which simply isn’t true. The reality is that they are stopping themselves.
Mike PickupAlpha is 6’0″ and says that thinking about a variable that you can’t change is just a waste of energy. Mike even collected data from guys to figure out if there was a correlation between a man’s height and the number of women men have had sex with, and there is a very insignificant correlation.
Being Asian Is Not An Excuse
Justin Marc says there are a lot of people who want to rationalize why they don’t get results in life in general, blaming it on being Asian or being from a certain country. It’s easier to sit there and rationalize than to put in the work and take action.
Deepak Dating says that Indians still have a slavery mindset and see themselves as lower than those in the West. When you think you are lower than a Caucasian person, then women will detect that you are not proud of who you are.
Mike PickupAlpha says he loves being Asian. Looking 10 years younger increases your dating span by over a decade. Time is the most valuable thing, and he could eat pizza and cupcakes every day and still look the same. The women you would have met at the club 20 years ago would look completely different now, but Mike has looked the same for 20 years. Also, Asians have a high IQ and are high earners, so if you’re making 6 figures or more per year, you can unfuck your life with just 3% of your annual salary by investing in yourself. Many of his Asian clients are sitting on high salaries and not utilizing their capital properly.
Aisen Li didn’t want to be Asian when he was growing up because people were bullying him as an Asian in Texas who had to learn English. But if you know your worth, good things are going to happen to you.
What Asian Dating Coaches Do For First Dates
Justin Marc likes to have girls meet him either close to his place or just come straight over, and sees that the date should be more like an experience overall. Having entertainment in your vicinity is hugely important.
Mike PickupAlpha doesn’t optimize for conversion, but optimizing for doing what he wants and for time. Taking a girl to the gym for a date is great because he can kill two birds with one stone by having a date and doing his workout at the same time. But if you’re just starting out, pick two simple activities with a pretty decent budget, like happy hour drinks followed by frozen yoghurt. Mike doesn’t like coffee dates because it doesn’t really put women in the mood, and having dates in the evening is best.
Deepak Dating says that conservative girls are less willing to come straight over to your house, so having awareness of cultures can be important.
Aisen Li says you should do something you like, and never meet in the middle if you both live far from each other; either meet close to her place or meet close to yours, and then switch for the next time.
