Shyness Looks Like Disinterest

When you approach girls in a club or bar, do you stay until they make it clear they want you to leave? Or do you get nervous and bounce well before that happens?

Or, if you meet a new girl somewhere (anywhere), do you need her to have glowing hearts floating out of her eyeballs to feel confident in talking to her? 

Do you feel like she just isn’t interested if that doesn’t happen, and then give up because of it, and jet before you can ‘embarrass’ yourself any more?

It’s something we’ve all done at some point and I’ve totally been guilty of it too. It was one of my biggest sticking points to be honest.

But something I’ve learned over the years is that shy people and those who want nothing to do with you often look exactly the same on the outside.

I have a theory which is that nobody wants to look like a cowardly harmless little kitten and that when people are feeling shy they usually try to cover it up to some degree. I think the end result of that is why they then end up looking like they’re not interested.

I might be wrong on that. It might just be that shy and disinterested faces naturally look identical, or it might be my own issues of needing overwhelming praise to feel valued and not feeling happy unless I have it.

I dunno for sure but it definitely is a fact that shy and disinterested people often present themselves to the world as identical twins.

For instance

I met a gorgeous girl on the beach yesterday. I saw her, walked up, and told her I thought she was beautiful and that I had to say hello. After that, we spoke for maybe 2-3 minutes with me doing most of the talking and her looking at me like she didn’t want to be there. 

Eventually she said she needed to go and we swapped contact details, but if I’m gonna be honest I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it. I knew everything I’m saying here and that’s why I asked for her info, but I honestly thought it was a stab in the dark. A Hail Mary if you will.

Still, once I got home and shot her a DM she replied with the quickness. Also, she’s been eagerly messaging me for about a day now and is really excited to meet up for a date.

If you saw her face when we met you’d have thought she wanted to get away ASAP but that’s clearly not not what was going on inside. She clearly loved meeting me but just didn’t know what to say in the moment.

She was shy.

Food for thought.

But having said that, this post isn’t here to advocate harassment either. If you’re speaking to a girl who’s making it clear she doesn’t want you there then leave, and if you’re not sure, you can ask her.

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